


Just Like That Carrie Underwood Song

by JyaGhost



Category: Stargate - All Series
Genre: F/M, Gen, Post-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 06:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6067876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JyaGhost/pseuds/JyaGhost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam wakes up with a hangover and a souvenir from a team trip to Vegas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Like That Carrie Underwood Song

Sam woke up, wondering why, when they were paying a fortune for the best beds in Las Vegas, she was sleeping on the couch.

That train of thought didn't last long once the little Czech scientists in her skull started clog dancing, causing her to groan and roll onto her back.

"Good morning." She knew she knew that soft, drawling voice, couldn't think of who it was. Different accent than Cam's...oh yeah. Colonel Sheppard.

Something cold and damp touched her hand, she recognized the texture as a glass and grabbed it. "There's aspirins too," Sheppard informed her.

"A factory's worth?" Sam opened bleary eyes beseechingly.

"Sorry. Couple of huge bottles was the best we could do."

Sam sat up, slowly, and took the proffered pills. So bad was her headache, she waited until she swallowed her medicine to look closer at the gold ring on the third finger of her left hand. "What the hell?"

Sheppard settled on the coffee table in front of her, putting the Advil down beside him. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Sam shot a fast look at Sheppard's hands and almost trembled with relief. No ring on him. "Uhm. We had lunch," she said cautiously. "Then we...went shopping?"

He nodded. "You and the other ladies took Keller on a 'new and blue hunt.'"

Sam echoed the nod, winced and resolved not to do that again. "Right. Then we met up at the chapel."

"Yep. Saw the happy couple safely married. And then?"

She wracked her brain. "Uh. Dinner and dancing?"

"Also known as the reception." John flashed a quick grin. "Next?"

"Rodney and Jenn left...Teyla and Kanaan too. We stayed?"

John nodded again. "For a little while longer anyway."

"Right, because Vala wanted to do something." Sam snapped her fingers. "The Luxor. Something about the Luxor."

"She wanted Daniel to see if the rumor about the hieroglyphic dirty words on the wall was true."

Sam laughed a little. "He didn't want to, she talked him into it. Of course."

John snickered. "Yep. I left you guys about then, so you'll have to ask her what happened. Do you remember calling me later?"

"I have your number?"

"By then you did."

"Oh." She had to think some more. "We were some place...purple. Embarrassing Cam."

"Excalibur hotel."

The name rang a bell. "The Medieval Times show! Did we get tickets?"

"Lorne has them for tonight at eighteen thirty."

Another bell went off. "Did I? Oh God, did I hit him?"

"Yep. And just so's you know? He's not speaking to you right now."

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't figure out..."What the hell did I do that for?"

"We'll get to that part. Do you remember the New York New York hotel? The roller-coaster?"

Her stomach twisted. "I think I do. Riding it, anyway." She put a hand to her middle. "Ugh."

John handed her a mint. "Here. Good for nausea."

She took it, popped it in her mouth. "Thanks." It didn't taste too good with the fruit punch flavored Gatorade, but it gave her something to focus her excess saliva on. "God...how much did I drink last night?"

"We'll get to that too. Do you remember leaving the New York?"

Sam shook her head a little. "No. That...impression of riding the coaster is all I've got."

"Okay, well, here's what I know about your last question. Each lady in your party had a glass of wine with lunch. You all walked that off, so no big deal. Champagne toast at the reception, wine with the food."

"Sounds right."

"Now remember, I left you at the Luxor, so no idea what you had there."

She shrugged, palms up. "I have no clue. Just... go with what you do know." Her gaze caught on the ring again. "Especially since I've got a souvenir I have no idea about either."

"When I got to the Excalibur, you guys - by which I mean SG-1 and Dr. Lam, 'cause Ronon and Amelia apparently bailed on you - were inside a shop, picking costumes for a group photo. Radek and Lorne were waiting in the ticket line. I should tell you, the Major liked you at that point."

What the hell had she done to him? "Okay. Keep going."

"You called me on the phone again, wanting to know where I was." John drew a breath. "You were...ah...compromised at the time."

"Is that a polite way of saying I was trashed?" Sam asked warily.

John waggled his head. "More than tipsy, but not so bad you were embarrassing yourself."

"Is there a yet following that sentence?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "Only you can decide that. I wasn't trying to hide that I was with you guys, if that's any comfort."

"Strangely, yes. It is. Keep going." She repeated, then took another long swallow of Gatorade. "I want to rip the bandage off."

He silently reached behind him, handed Sam a photo. She sat in the middle of the group, a sword pointed down between her feet. Cameron knelt next to her, dressed in a full suit of clearly phony armor. Daniel was behind and to her right, with a wizard's pointed hat on his head and Vala next to him, one arm on his shoulder, the other propped on a longbow. Carolyn Lam stood on the left with a dagger in her hand and Teal'c beside her, dressed in armor like Cameron.

Great picture, gorgeous dress. She remembered none of it. "Where are you? And Lorne and Radek?"

"We missed that one." He handed her another photo.

A Western theme. Cowboys and saloon girls. Carolyn was draped against Cameron, while Vala was all over Daniel and she herself...

Was snuggled up to Teal'c.

Teal'c wore his trademark "I am humoring my teammates, and yet, I am managing to have a good time since they are" look. Her face heated a little.

John cleared his throat. "You paid for this, after you ordered us into it, so you should..." He dropped another photo on her lap.

Radek was the saloon owner, holding a couple of prop glasses that looked full. John and Lorne were wearing badges on their costumes, leaning on the bar. John's expression was his usual laid back amusement, Radek was blushing a little and Lorne was pure 'humor the natives so we can go home.'

"Ordered you?"

"Yep. I believe the exact words were, 'stop being spoilsports and pick out your clothes before I do it for you. That's an order.'"

"Is that why Lorne's pissed?"

"Nope. We're getting there. After that, we visited the bar. Tequila shots. You had two, I think. Maybe three. We got you out of there by picking up the prints." He gestured to the photos. "Oh, and everyone stopped off to slay the purple dragon in the hallway. I think Vala took those pictures though." A shrug. "Then Lam heard someone talking about the roller coaster and wanted to go. So we headed to New York."

He stretched, winced a little, and shifted on the table. "There was a line. Cameron disappeared out of it, came back with a tray of Manhattan shooters. You guys cheered, slugged, got on the ride. Climbed off the coaster, you got the next round. When Lorne tried to suggest cutting back a little...well, there was an accident. He got hit in the jaw and the drinks went all over Radek, so they left."

Sam put her head in her hands. She would be doing some serious amounts of groveling to a good man who'd put up with a lot over the years. "Well, you've loosened the tape. Keep ripping."

John cleared his throat again. "Here's where things...get uncomfortable. Because the whole 'deny I know you' instinct was starting to kick in."

She gestured, semi-encouragingly, and he sighed. "You started to go after them, but Daniel suggested waiting till things cooled off. Couple of seconds later, Lam brought new drinks, and you seemed like you forgot what happened."

"There was a pitcher of sangria and a bunch of conversation that got more maudlin and less anything I was paying attention to. I kept getting up and escorting you ladies to the restrooms too, so even if I was following along, I'd have gaps. Anyway." He took a deep breath. "I came back with you to find out Vala asked Daniel, or." He paused, considered. "Maybe the other way around. Somebody asked somebody 'cause Vala and Daniel were getting married and it was a mad rush to find a 'pretty chapel with Elvis.'" At the look she was giving him, he raised his hands defensively. "Lorne wouldn't answer his phone, Radek's smaller than everybody but Amelia. Teyla, Ronon and Kanaan are from seriously out of town and lack urban land nav skills. Five confirmed drunk, Teal'c not acting like Teal'c and there's only one of me." He glared at her in annoyance. "Would you have preferred I zatted all of you and called in the Odyssey?"

"I'm sorry John. It's not you I'm upset with. It's me." She looked away, then back. "Who am I going to hurt asking for a divorce?"

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Interested to see who thinks what....


End file.
